There Have Always Been Rude People

From: The Gentleman in the Room
Column by Brother David R. Ritchie, PGM – Wisconsin

There have always been rude people. There have always been arrogant people. There have always been angry people. There have always been intolerant people. So why does incivility seem to be so much more prevalent today? Somewhere along the way it became acceptable. Behavior that at one time would not have been tolerated is today often the norm. We substituted arrogance for confidence and rudeness for self-defense. In the Communication Age society has allowed people to hide behind the anonymity of the web. Society devaluing critical thought has led to argument over debate and emotion over fact. Force, either mental, emotional, or physical has taken the place of persuasion. In short, incivility has grown to where it is today because it is practiced by so many more people than ever before.

We all know the problems and many of the reasons. What many do not see though, is that there is a very real movement to stem the tide of incivility. The health care profession is greatly concerned that its practitioners are losing their professionalism because of incivility. In the profession of healing many are struggling with individuals who disagree with them, not only on scientific/medical issues, but on politics, religion, and issues. New practitioners are often not trained in how to handle those who may unintentionally offend. A quick internet search shows the large amount of recent literature, workshops, webinars, and conferences on the topic.

Social media has been an incubator for incivility and discord. Today many groups are posting only positive ideas to the web. A friend of mine has posted “Todays Flower” for a couple of years. His reason, “...the world needs more beauty.” Another friend posts daily on another site known for its short videos and dangerous challenges. It is always something positive. When asked why he would use such a site, he replied, “Yeah, it can be pretty nasty but each positive or beautiful thing I post makes it a little less so and maybe people will follow my example.” It may seem somewhat Pollyannaish to believe that with millions of people using these platforms for incivility one person posting something positive or beautiful can make a difference. The reality is that those feeding the incivility are doing it one person, one post at a time. What if everyone who was ready for a change, those who want to see a more gentle, more civil, society, posted just one thing a day? A few million individuals would certainly make a difference.

Many people are starting to walk away from arguments and have begun to search out facts before making a discission on many issues. Critical thinking and fact analysis are becoming practices more people are exercising. Many are looking to make informed decisions only after more than a surface look at the issues, and when they have come to a reasoned decision, they realize that it is a personal choice. They have chosen not to bully or argue everyone into the same choice but still stand ready to calmly and rationally defend their choice.

I call your attention to the gentleman in the room. An individual. A single man who has decided to take the higher road. A single man who has chosen not to feed the incivility that is dividing society. A man comfortable in his convictions. A single man who wants to make the society and the world a better. A man who is humble enough to admit to his mistakes. An individual strong enough to change himself and his mind when it is necessary.

You may be the only gentleman in that room but, there are so many other rooms with that one man, a gentleman in it as well. You are indeed only one man trying to change the world but remember your choices and actions do change the world... and you are not alone. Keep up the good work. We can and will make the world a better place.